When one of my friends eagerly shared with her husband an entrepreneurial idea, his response was: What about our our home, our children? Though unspoken, I suspect he wondered what about me? The myth of Psyche, a story that helps us understand feminine psychological development, may have been helpful here. Remember Psyche would not have undertaken this hero's journey during which she had to complete four tasks, had it not been to rescue a loved one. Consensus suggests women can't attend to their relationships and their identity -- the Psyche myth suggests otherwise. Let's look at the first question: 1) What about our home? As we pursue a dream, will there be specific tasks that we currently do that won't get done? In other words, will chaos ensue?
When Maria Carr asked me to be a guest on her TV show, I almost said no. I wanted to do it, but I was scared. Would anyone beyond my close-knit circle care about 'dare to dream'? Could I distill my ideas into 2-3 minute snippets? Would I get nervous? (I still remember cheerleading tryouts my junior year -- the year I didn't make it -- my voice audibly quavered.) Then there was the all-important, what would I wear?
I just finished Stephenie Meyer's Breaking Dawn which, like the first three novels, I read in less than 24 hours. But even as I continue to read and buy her books, I find myself increasingly discombobulated. There are so many things to like. The deeply romantic "girl-gets-swept off her feet by two knights in shining armor' plot. The fact that 'Bella is loved because she exists - not because she does everything right - and deep down this is what we all want -- to be loved for our very existence', as Janna pointed out; being loved for our very existence should be (I believe is) an inalienable right. And yet, believing as I do -- in the importance of moving ourselves to the center of our life story, I've found myself in a surprising love/hate relationship with Meyer's books.
During a particularly challenging week at work, I happened upon an article by Robert S. Kaplan titled 'Reaching your Potential' which offered up the teaser, "maybe you feel frustrated with your career--convinced you should be achieving more. You may even wish you had chosen a different career altogether." I was definitely frustrated, and even discouraged, but did I wish I had chosen a different path? Not really. As I reflected on Kaplan's article, I realized that I'm right where I want to be. In sharing this insight with one of my friends, she pointedly asked, "Did you really think that living your dream isn't challenging/discouraging/difficult?" To which I sheepishly replied, "No." The truth is there's a pretty large shred of me which believes that if I'm living my dream, life will breezy.
I woke up this morning happy, rolled over, slept some more, and an hour later, woke up again. Giddy. My husband took our children down to visit with family for the day. So I'm home alone without a list of a million things that I expect myself to get done because my perfectionist self is away as well -- I kindly asked her to go on holiday -- and proceeded to give myself permission. Permission to watch two episodes of 'What not to Wear'. To get up when I want to. To think what I want to. To do what I want to -- when I want to.
My first pregnancy had been SO easy. First try. Pregnant. Not a day of morning sickness. And notwithstanding the fact that I'd had my son the old-fashioned way because no anesthesiologists were on hand when I arrived at the hospital, his birth was also easy. Two years later, I was ready to have another baby. I'd get pregnant in late August; an early summer baby wouldn't interfere with my busy time at work, and allow me to enjoy a summer off. Baby number two -- coming right up.
I sort of deserved it, but it stung nonetheless. One of our vendors (I'm purposely being vague) recently invited me and several other clients to sit in their box at a Celtics game -- nope, not a championship game. In making small talk, one of the fellows asked me if I were a hoops fan. I could have given several different answers. Like, Yes, I really enjoyed going to games when I was younger. Or, No, not so much, but I've enjoyed seeing the Celtics' have a winning season. Both answers would have been true. Instead, I said, "Well, I WAS a cheerleader in high school". To which he responded, "And, now you're a cheerleader over at Rose Park." Weeks later, I'm still stung.
Have you seen the article 'Study: Women Can't Afford to Get Angry'? Did the article surprise you? Me neither. We (meaning we girls) learn from a very young age that we shouldn't get angry, or at least not show our anger. But is it anger that we shouldn't do? Or rage?
Have you read the Reader's Digest article titled 'Dare to Dream: What happens in your head at night is more important than you think'? According to scientific research, our dreams communicate to our conscious mind what our subconscious mind is worried about (or not) thus helping us work through the day's emotional quandaries. Let me give you a few examples: 1) Several years ago, I met a woman that I wanted to be friends with, but in my waking life I wasn't sure I could trust her. That is, until I dreamt about two different people (one man, one woman) in my distant past whom I couldn't trust. When I juxtaposed how I felt when I interacted with this woman vs. the other two individuals, my subconscious was telling me I could absolutely trust her.
I say No, No, No No, No, No--until I see one that is exactly what I am looking for. And then I say Yes. All I have to do is say Yes a few times in my life and I've made my fortune.We say no a thousand times before we can yes. Warren Buffett When we say 'no', what are we saying 'yes 'to? As a parent, when we say 'no' to TV before our children play outside, aren't we saying yes to their physical and emotional health? As a job seeker/student when we say 'no' to the internship that is handily ours so as to seek out one that isn't, aren't we saying 'yes' to discovering skills sets we didn't know we had? If I'm Paula Abdul and I say 'no' I didn't like that number, am I not saying 'yes' to my words meaning something?