“I’ve been working on this piece
I should JUST publish the piece somewhere, anywhere, so I can ‘check the box' and move on to the next thing on my to-do list.” — Me talking to me.
Perhaps you've had a similar conversation with yourself.
You have a dream. You've done a lot of reading and thinking. You set a deadline. You start.
In my case, you send a piece to your editors.
“It doesn't make sense,” they say. “Can you clarify?”
You think, you write, you dream and write some more.
You know the piece isn't quite there yet; neither the ideas, nor the language sings.
But you're done, done, SO done.
So you cross your fingers, and send it back to the editors.
Your editor: “It still doesn't make sense.”
I am going to publish it anyway, somewhere, ANYwhere.
Just to cross this off my list.
That dear friends, is me dealing very badly with uncertainty.
When we dream, there are moments of freefall. Fraught with fear, we want more than anything for the uncertainty to go away. It’s the grown-up version of the marshmallow test.
Sometimes I can let my dreams hang suspended mid-air. Clearly not always.
And yet if we really want to get on with daring and doing (whether we are starting a business or writing an essay), we need to become adept at uncertainty, the emotional extreme sport.
A few years ago I would have hit PUBLISH on this piece of a dream.
This time I didn't eat the marshmallow.
I wonder what will happen.