Matt Langdon, the creator of The Hero Construction Company, an Australian living in America, aims to show young people that by doing little things every day they can become heroes. He has taught workshops in Massachusetts, New York, New Jersey, Kansas, Indiana, California, South Carolina, Michigan and Wisconsin. He's currently working with Dr. Philip Zimbardo et al, Professor Emeritus at Stanford on the study of heroism.
I'm the product of a single parent home.
A couple of years ago I wrote about the importance of roles models for the sons of single mothers. It really hit home that my mum had done a good job of making sure that my natural tendencies to seek out masculine heroes were tempered by exposure to positive women.
While I think my environment (i.e. the lack of a father in the home) subtly guided my choices of heroes, I was pretty typical. For example, I had sports as a focus. But while most of my friends adored the generally brutal footballers, I was more drawn to the elegance and skill in cricket. I loved the Star Wars movies, the Narnia and Tintin books, but I also knew who Simone de Beauvoir was — not a claim any of my friends could make.
Fifteen years after leaving home (and country), I'm talking to kids about heroes for a living.
Ask a child who their hero is and you just saved yourself hours of trying to work out what kind of person they are. It's a personal question with a unique answer. It's also the question that kicks off all my Hero Workshops.
Ready for some generalizations?
Boys answer with sports stars while girls put forward singers and actors. However, the overwhelming source of heroes for kids between 4th and 6th grade is their family. Easily 90% of the answers include parents, grandparents, siblings and dogs. Yes, dogs.
You're probably now asking yourself, “Do my kids consider me a hero?” If they do, do you feel a new sense of responsibility? You're obviously doing a lot of things rights, but how can you embrace this role? How can you be a hero as well as a parent?
Source: istockphoto
I think a lot of parenting today is redirecting. Parents are battling with mass media for a prize, the prize being our children. As parents, we have a number of options. We can take no part in the process, allowing the millions of dollars of research spent by companies to do their job.
We can dictate every exposure our children have, generally prompting them to find their own heroes anyway, keeping them secret.
Or we can be in the middle.
Watch what our kids are watching. Talk to them about who they admire. Show them new options without forcing them. As a parent, we are the ones helping decide whether Britney's underwearless lifestyle is worth aping, or whether Kelly Clarkson's down-to-earth integrity is the way forward.
Many of the movie studios are creating fantastic tools for parents — we just need to use them. Take Up for instance. We can laugh at the talking dogs and imagine what it would be like to make our house float away.
We also can take some time to talk about Up's themes and messages. Pixar has produced a great set of hero movies and should be congratulated.
I'm actually working on developing a movie with the creator of Fraggle Rock to specifically promote everyday heroism. Our goal is to release the movie with a lot of support material for parents and teachers. Imagine these conversations in our children's classrooms. And a whole set of tools to discuss at home.
Heroes are vital to every child.
How can we get the best kind of heroes in front of our children?
More importantly, are we our kids' best kind of hero?
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As head of Cultural Enrichment at my children's school, I arranged to have Matt teach The Hero Workshop. Today at graduation, Mr. Eyster, the headmaster, cited the workshop as one of the year's highlights.
Matt has written that ‘it's the little things that people do that make them heroes'. Saren Eyre Loosli, founder of The Power of Moms, talked about the little things, that it's the micro that matters in mothering. You can do the math.
Who are your heroes? I learned a lot about myself when I identified mine. If you asked your children to list theirs, what would you learn about them? And what a great rainy day activity to gather photos from magazines and the internet (or even their personal drawings), making a collage of their heroes.
Your workshop not only seems to provide them with a process of identifying their heros but also developing a vocabulary and method of identifying those characteristics that a hero possesses.If someone doesn’t have a hero, fictional or real, how would you help them discover one?
Our Inner heros exist when we depart from our normal routine and give a portion of our lives to another.
I love the idea of a “Hero in Waiting,” which requires one to be constantly conscious of those around us.
As adults I feel just noticing the little ones is heroic, whether they are your children or not. In turn it provides an example for children to emulate as they grow older so hopefully they’ll notice the needs of a stranger and feel a call to action. I say that if you want your child to be a hero, slow down and serve and include them in your thought process. Perhaps open the door for a messenger whose arms are laden with packages and turn to your child and say how much you appreciate…
1) that messengers are “so great” to get things to us quickly when we are in a pinch
2) when similar things are done for you you are happy and
3) and perhaps the most important, the messenger is a fellow being in this life and helping is how we show love.
Communication and time are essential to teaching!
I sometime reflect on what I am teaching others with my time and communication… In this economy I am overwhelmed by “matters of consequence” and i work and work to work (I’m a freelancer)! I may not be able to be involved in huge philanthropy but I can offer a smile, my seat on the subway, a connection for a job interview, an open door. I am by no means a hero by doing these things but it reminds me to be conscious of others and perhaps, when I am really needed, I will recognize the call. That is my hope at-least! Just a few thoughts. Matt, you are doing a worthy thing! 😉
ANYONE can be a hero by doing the little things everyday. This post really builds on the last–Saren’s The Power of Moms. We are the character in our own lives and can choose how our stories are written. When we recognize that success in the big sense is accomplished by the little, mundane tasks, we propel ourselves down our path of trials with a sense of winning and accomplishment. (Whitney: You know the most amazing people!)
I’m going to present this idea to my childrens’ schools…both elementary and middle schools. Teaching our children to be more aware of the qualities of a real hero has the potential to make a great impact on their lives as they look up to others (whether they realize this yet or not) and as they are an example to those around them.
I honestly don’t know what my children would say were I to ask them to name their heros. I’m going to ask and see what their answers tell me.
Thanks for the comments.
Rebecca, let us know what your kids say. If you want to know more about the school program, let me know. I can send you a pdf to forward to the principals. And you can tell them Whitney likes it 🙂
Bonnie, I get a lot of people who say they don’t have a hero – more adults than kids. In fact, it’s very rare for kids. I tell them to think about people whose stories have influenced them in some way. That might be a work of fiction, or it might be the story of a real person. If that fails, ask them to list attributes that are important to them and ask them how those choices came about. It’s probably because someone they admired exhibited them.
LaNola, your last paragraph is exactly what a hero-in-waiting it. Someone who is actively practicing for that moment they’re called to action. It’s like getting CPR certified, just in case you ever need it.
And Jenny, you’re spot on.
Thanks for having me Whitney.
Whitney,
You have had several outstanding guest bloggers lately, thank you for the stimulating content.
Regarding Matt, I am impressed with his drive and cause – I loved Fraggle Rock as a child and I can only imagine how collaborating on the topic of everyday heroism could be powerful message and modality.
Thank you for giving us inspiration…
I think it amazing you include grandparents. As a mother I focused on raising my children “right.” Now that I am a grandmother my focus is on knowing my grandson. I guess I have more time to share now. After reading your blog I realize I wish to help my daughter to bring out the hero in herself, a single mom, and bring out the hero in her son. Thank you for that. ps if I get the $75, please keep it.
[…] and who I’d want on my personal advisory board; meanwhile he guest blogged about his hero here. On November 9 and 10, Matt is hosting his first ever Hero Roundtable Conference in Flint, […]