Conflict is everywhere. Even in “normal” times, it's all around us. And it is inherent in the process of climbing an S-curve of learning. There will be challenges, there will be friction. Conflict is a constraint, so what do you do with that conflict? Does it stop you or does it become a tool of creation? Dr. Jen Goldman-Wetzler has an answer. She has the answer. She is the author of the new book, Optimal Outcomes: Free Yourself from Conflict at Work, at Home and in Life, which was recently named as a Financial Times Book of the Month.
When emotions are high, when we’re triggered by what is happening, a resolution may seem impossible. We can get trapped in cycles of blame and shame and the entitlement we try so hard to fight as we move up our s curves of learning takes over. With these practices, it’s possible to take a step back, see others as people, not objects, and move forward.
Having a practice for dealing with conflict is especially important now. Emotions are high, we’re in a constant tug of war between fear and hope in our brains, and you might be in the middle of a conflict right now with someone you’re sheltering in place with. If you’ve been feeling triggered, use the practices Jen outlines in this episode and in her book.
Links Mentioned in this Episode:
- Jen Goldman-Wetzler – Website | Twitter | LinkedIn | Instagram | Facebook
- Optimal Outcomes: Free Yourself from Conflict at Work, at Home and in Life by Jen Goldman-Wetzler
- Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In by Roger Fisher and William L. Ury
- Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton and Sheila Been
- Beyond Reason: Using Emotions as You Negotiate by Roger Fisher and Daniel Shapiro
- Optimal Outcomes Assessment
- Conflict Mapping Instructions
- Disrupt Yourself Podcast – Episode 92: Donna Hicks
- Disrupt Yourself Podcast – Episode 15: Asi Burak
- Disrupt Yourself Podcast – Episode 157: Susan David