Last week I received a jigsaw puzzle in the mail. I didn't order one, and I certainly wasn't expecting one from Brigham Young University's Marriott School of Business.

On any other day, I would have set it aside for another time. Life was already puzzling enough.

But the swag appeared on my doorstep at lunchtime. So my daughter and I opened the puzzle up and spent a few minutes of our lunch piecing it together.

It was an oasis of delight in my highly scheduled day.

A tight schedule suits me. There's psychological comfort in planning out where you're going and what you are doing. It gives you something soft to bump up against: the known, not the cold unknown.

And yet, too much structure can be, well, too much. There's a rigidity that creates a lost opportunity to give your brain a workout as you learn how to innovate and adapt.

I still remember a conversation I had with my colleagues in Brazil nearly fifteen years ago. They told me about an acquaintance who was traveling in Europe, met a stranger, and instantly recognized a golden opportunity. In a moment, their colleague tore up his itinerary and took off with the stranger in pursuit of what he believed was a better option.

While most of us probably can't cancel all our bookings, I wonder if we could leave a little more slack in our schedule to have moments— great or small—of fascination and joy.

I experienced that in two of my recent speaking engagements. One was good, but the other was great. What was the difference? It was having guardrails but leaving space for the unexpected.

I had that experience again when I interviewed John Tesh for the Disrupt Yourself podcast. Tesh is a former host of Entertainment Tonight, now a celebrated composer and host of a nationally syndicated radio show in the U.S. We left time for the unexpected, and our conversation took several pivots of surprise and delight.

If you are so scheduled that there's no chance for play, disrupt yourself. I'm not saying you need to launch to a radically different S Curve. Of course, that could be wonderful, but if a towering new S Curve isn't in the cards, start small.

You could talk to a stranger, learn the name of a flower, do a jigsaw puzzle. Talking to a stranger could be the first step in taking your life in a new and better direction. (Where was your life partner when you met? Odds are, it wasn't Google Calendar.) Doing an unexpected midday puzzle with your child could be a bonding moment the two of you won't forget. Leave some wiggle room, mentally and emotionally, for a surprise.

An opportunity to put the pieces of your life together, childlike wonder included.

As always, thank you for being here––and thanks to the many of you who surprise and delight with your lovely notes.

My best,
Whitney

P.S. If you listen to our podcast but haven't filled out the survey yet, please do! You're listening, and so are we. Click “submit” and as a thank-you gift, you'll get a download listing 10 stellar podcasts that can help with career changes. Let's disrupt and grow together.

I'm not going to die.

Or at least I am living in denial about my inevitable death.

Maybe you are too.

That's why I didn't quite know what to expect or think as I prepared to speak in Nashville at the National Funeral Directors Association.

Because the subject of death is so uncomfortable for nearly all of us, we are continually in denial. We tend not to think about it and pretend that it's not going to happen.

But the members of the National Funeral Directors Association don't have that luxury. These are people who confront human mortality all the time. Every workday is spent dealing with the nitty-gritty realities of death and the tender feelings of the mourners left behind. You could even say these professionals are at the top of the S Curve of dealing with death.

Not so for most of us. Because talking about funerals reminds us of the reality of death, we don't usually want to talk about funerals either. I knew very little about the industry.

I had a bit of awakening, similar to when I studied Mike Rowe and his work. Funeral Directors are not people we give much thought to, most of the time. But they are people who do an essential job, who get dirty on our behalf. Because we don't really want to need their services, we probably aren't as appreciative of them as we ought to be.

They are the people who are there to be our guide when we are at the launch point of the S Curve of mourning, loss, and grief.

I was humbled to hear them share stories of kindness rendered at a moment of deep pain, when a child has died, for example, the compassion offered and the sense of mission they have for this work.

While speaking with them, I was reminded of Natalie Babbitt's classic of children's literature, Tuck Everlasting. It is an elegant rumination on the role death plays in life with lessons for adults and children.

Here's a summary for those unfamiliar with the story. Winnie Cooper, the young protagonist, has stumbled on the secret of a magical spring of water. Drink from it, and you will be immortal. She meets the Tuck family, who drank from the spring many years before and have been arrested in their development ever since. They don't age, and they don't die. They live an itinerant life, trying to keep their secret, a secret.

There is also an antagonist, a man who has heard rumors of this spring and wants to find it and monetize it. Of course, he wants to drink from it himself. But the Tucks have lived with their unnatural situation long enough to understand that it would be a bad idea.

Pa Tuck wants to persuade Winnie not to drink from the spring.

I want to grow and change–––I hope you do too!

This week, our podcast guest is Jennifer Moss, an award-winning journalist, nationally syndicated columnist, and author of The Burnout Epidemic: The Rise of Chronic Stress and How We Can Fix It.​

When healthy stress levels get out of control, it can lead to burnout, a massive blocker for our S Curves. I think you'll find some useful ideas in our conversation.

As always, thanks for being here!

My best,
Whitney

Earlier this week, I was in a meeting (not unusual). The presenter was well-prepared, but I was distracted and somewhat disengaged. I didn't get a lot out of it.

I know better than to let that happen.

Especially because, just days before, when I was the presenter, I'd had exactly the opposite experience.

I offered Ed Mulitalo, the head football coach at Southern Virginia University, to speak to the football team. SVU is where my husband teaches, and our daughter goes to school. The Mulitalos are family friends. I'm invested in their success.

My initial impulse was to be of service––teaching the team principles and ideas that I wish I had learned in college, such as disrupting our mindset, how to rewire our brains, and that the game, any game, gets played between the goal posts of our ears first.

I didn't expect the team to be of service to me.

Typically, when I do a facilitated session, I talk about 100% responsibility –– in the words of Jocko Willink, “extreme ownership.” It's a reminder I use, thanks in part to my mentor Marshall Goldsmith and Disruption Advisors colleague Ralph Campbell, that the success of a speech or a session is only partly dependent on what the speaker does. It is also, to a not insignificant degree, attributable to what the audience or participants bring.

To date, this was one of my best speeches. It wasn't because of what I brought. It was what the team members brought.

We were in a relatively small room with 105 football players aged 18-25. They were rowdy, respectful, participative, and all-in.

When I asked questions, they spoke up. When I told them that I had to disrupt self-limiting beliefs that kept me from asking Pixar's Ed Catmull onto the podcast, these young athletes remonstrated with me.

And, when I asked them to commit to disrupting their mindset, they brought the house down with ferocity; the sound was deafening and exhilarating. Maximum intensity in a chorus of “Yes, I will do this.”

They participated, and because of their participation, the speech was better, and I was better. Now you understand why I shouldn't have been a distracted participant mere days later.

As a footnote, it reminds me of a recent interview with Michelle McKenna, who is, ironically, also in football—the CIO of the NFL. She said she often learns from the junior people on her team—the people in their 20s. At the time, I didn't really identify with her experience. But this week, I got it. I understood the discipline, eagerness, and integrity, all part of a committed desire to learn and be better.

When have you had an experience where the audience or group truly showed up? What can you do to better show up yourself? And when have you recently been around the next generation (whoever and wherever that is for you!)? How did they inspire you?

Our podcast guest this week is Steve Bullock, a money manager at Fidelity Investments. But that's not why we're chatting. He's also the author of Out of the Box Golf, where he analyzes a ton of data to upend conventional wisdom about the sport. Think of it as Moneyball for golf.

Steve has some bold predictions for the future of golf and provides important insights on overcoming the challenges of jumping to new S Curves.

We will make five copies of his book available. Hit reply and say, “My S Curve is Out of the Box.”
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As always, thanks for being here!

My best,
Whitney

Here in the Northern Hemisphere, we passed the fall equinox last week.

It was accompanied by a few nights of star bright clear skies, a big, luminous full, or nearly full moon, and the cooler days and nights that signal the rollover from summer into autumn. The annual color-changing of the leaves makes this a favorite season of the year for many, including me.

Of course, I love spring when it arrives, and everything comes alive again after the cold, dreary winter. Although winter in its early days is pretty spectacular too, there's nothing to compare with the sparkling beauty of fresh snow. Winter is not my favorite season, but it does offer some of my favorite days, and I know a few people, especially skiers, who can't wait for it to start and wish it would never end. Summer, too, has its unique pleasures to enjoy. But by the time fall arrives, as it now has in Virginia, USA, I'm tired of the heat and humidity and am ready to put away the summer whites and get cozy.

Amazingly, while my half of the world is embarking on autumn and heading toward winter, the southern half is experiencing the spring rebirth en route to the days of summer abundance. Not everyone wants to live with all four seasons, but I do. That said, I know the coming of fall can signal hard times for many who suffer from the shorter days, lower sunlight, and more time cooped up indoors. Research (and personal experience) tell us that although the autumn “fall back” time change gives us an extra hour of sleep, it also discombobulates our circadian rhythms. Leaving us stressed and cranky for several days and often more. But overall, it seems we love the seasons when they are new and then gradually tire of them over time and feel refreshed when change is upon us again.

Pardon the interruption, but I have a quick ask. We are seeking to better tailor this newsletter to meet your needs, so we are conducting a quick audience survey, which is here. It will take about a minute and it would be very kind of you! As a thank you, when you complete it, you will get a free PDF download about changing jobs.

Here are a few things I'm considering that would shake up the routine and help maximize the benefits of the changing season while minimizing the negatives.

• Permit myself to sleep a little more. Once upon a time, before artificial light, people slept when it was dark. Candles, lamp oil, fuel for the fire were all finite resources to be used sparingly. In the months with less daylight, this meant that people slept A LOT. I can't see myself sleeping 14 hours a day, but it would be in harmony with history and biology to add a little extra sleep to my nights.
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• Focus on the unique pleasures of this time of year. In my part of the world, that means evening fires, hot cider, fresh bread, homemade soup, sweaters, and long walks outdoors in the cool air. Summer reading is popular, but it's never too soon to make a list of good books to help ease the way through the long evenings of the darker months. We DO have artificial light; we might as well put it to good use.
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• Be on the lookout for people around me who might need a positive boost. Where and how can I add a little sunshine to someone's day?

Whatever I do, I aim to keep it simple. Overly ambitious goals or changes in routine tend to backfire. Sleep a little, breathe the autumn air both indoors and out, and find ways to be kind to those around me.

What do you do to seize the season, whether it's autumn or spring for you now?

Our podcast guest this week is Leena Nair, the Chief Human Resources Officer at Unilever. She's also the first female, first Asian, and youngest CHRO in the company's history.

We discuss why raising your hand for the most difficult jobs is one of the most important things you can do. As she says, “When was the last time you did something for the first time in your life? That's the last time you grew.”

Leena explains, “Companies with purpose last. And people with purpose thrive,” and she has the data to back it up. I hope you'll be as inspired as I was!

Thanks, as always, for being here!

My best,
Whitney